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Sara Sidner of CNN: Why did I lose on live TV

I cried. I can’t control my tears. I can’t use my words.

It happened not only in public, but also on CNN in front of the United States and the world.

At first, it was anger that made me cry. To anger those who will not take our disease seriously, and those who actively oppose the truth. They put people’s lives in danger.

I was talking about Juliana Jimenez Sema in the live broadcast. Her story shocked me. She quit her real estate job to take care of her mother who took care of lung diseases. She didn’t want to do anything to expose her mother and stepfather to the coronavirus.

But in a poor area of ​​Los Angeles, the entire family was infected, including Sesma’s brother and family who lived nearby. The younger ones survived, but Sesma lost her stepfather and then her mother in 1

1 days.

I met her at her mother’s funeral. That was the most disturbing scene. The open coffin in the corner of the parking lot-the only place where people can gather safely-flowers perched on the asphalt below.

Sesma stood in front of me, a stranger, and told me her story. She tried to bravely attend her mother’s funeral, but how could you say goodbye to the most important person in your life in the parking lot? Then I will not let myself cry, I am working. But when the wandering band played “Amor Eterno” or “Love Eternal”, I did let myself see, feel and hear.

Juliana Jimenez Sesma on the right must hold her mother's funeral in the parking lot.

I can’t tell you how difficult it is to face a beautiful and imperfect America and constantly experience two completely different worlds: one based on reality, the other based on conspiracy and tribalism.

I have now been to 10 hospitals trying to deal with this pandemic. I have witnessed people suffering from Covid-19 in ICUs across the country, panting and even dying. I have seen tired-faced doctors and nurses still fighting, as if the pandemic had just begun, even though we have been 12 months.

Then, when I stopped to gasp on my way home, someone opened my eyes and asked, “Why are you wearing a mask?” It was like a fool like me.

The story was about to air before dawn in Los Angeles. After listening to Sesma’s voice, I realized that she would wake up without her mother and stepfather because of the coronavirus. She will do this every day for the rest of her life. Painful twice a day. The pain may change from burning pain to dull pain, but it will never go away.

Then I thought about where she would wake up. There are no convenient emergency care clinics in South Los Angeles. The person in charge of Martin Luther King Community Hospital told me that there are 10 times fewer doctors per resident in this community than in other parts of California, and this is an institution that stands out in the healthcare desert.

There is a lack of major grocery chains in southern Los Angeles. The branches of the national pharmacy have no sugar-free candy options and no low-sugar health bars. It’s just a substance that corrodes teeth and causes diabetes.

This seems irrelevant. It’s not. In community hospitals, the most common operation is amputation due to diabetes.

Sesma’s stepfather suffers from diabetes and asthma. Her mother has lung disease. Covid swallows people with such comorbidities. When the coronavirus appeared, it found its ideal victims. But in South Los Angeles, premature death is not new. The life expectancy is 10 to 10 years! -The person in charge of the hospital told us that there are fewer than other places in Los Angeles.

When I get home these days, no one wants to hug or hug. I will self-quarantine and exclude any infection from my husband’s lungs in the best way I know-stay in another room, put on a mask at home, and go to the hospital for a few days before being tested for coronavirus.

Very lonely but not as lonely as my family died because I was infected because I knew nothing about danger.

This is not a joke, nor a scam. Before getting to know Sesma, I went to St. Mary’s Medical Center in Apple Valley outside of Apple. That was another hospital, which was crowded with Covid patients, and tired doctors and nurses. I heard a patient cough and difficulty breathing-every breath of air brings pain. I did not see the patient, but my heart was beating and my eyes were running water.

When I started playing the footage again, I reconsidered how to tell the story of this hospital to make people believe that I opened CNN to observe the changes in the world.

It was January 6, and lies fuelled another deadly battle across the country in Washington. A group of uninformed mobs beat up in front of the door to the U.S. Capitol, and they succeeded.

For many years, I have been hiding hatred in this country. I was attacked by neo-Nazis and talked with several KKK members as well as white nationalists and people who called themselves “proud boys.”
For years, I have been saying that some of them are talking about civil war and they will take action at some point. People will look at me like the maskless guy at the gas station. I was exaggerated or flinched. However, before my eyes, a riot is unfolding. Stark violence. And real.

I just want to scream. If few people think this will happen in modern America, I always worry about it. And I know it’s not over yet. Just like the Christmas and New Year’s carnivals, the coronavirus is ready to cause another devastating blow. Members of the militia, white nationalists, Trump insurgents, conspiracy theorists and their supporters may have another blow to American democracy. .

So when you saw me crying, you witnessed my anger. I care about my country. I am worried about the old and new ills we face. I think my country is sustaining life.

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