A large number of studies have shown that supportive relationships can help relieve harmful stress and have physical and mental benefits including fighting viruses. However, our five-month-old journey on a corona car is fraying and sometimes even destroying the bonds that might help us through the difficulties in simpler times.
Science journalist Lydia Denworth (Lydia Denworth) said: “Our social circle is getting tighter. “Friendship: the evolution, biology and extraordinary power of the basic bonds of life.”
Philadelphia personal injury lawyer Danyl Patterson said that covid-19 ended her life as a “social butterfly.” She once fried 80 pounds of fish for a group of casual friends. She said: “I already know that I need fewer and fewer people in my life.”
A few weeks ago, Patterson temporarily moved to his boyfriend’s home in New Jersey, where there is a swimming pool. As the weather heats up and friends invite, she sets strict rules for who can visit her.
She said: “We have to have a lot of hard conversations.” “Important workers can’t come.” “Neither can people who are not really isolated…. Do you have children over 16 years old? Then you can’t come.”
Some friends and relatives were injured, some were angry.
“Some people don’t talk to me anymore,” Patterson said. However, a few years ago, Patterson lost his parents to the H1N1 virus (also known as swine flu). Today, she said: “Everyone knows that I am serious.”
Patterson admitted that she may have lost some good friends, but she said the overall quality of friendship has improved.
She said: “If you should be my friend and you do not accept my request for safety, then you really are not my friend.”
Some public health experts said they were worried that lockdowns and home rules would exacerbate the worrying “loneliness epidemic” before the pandemic began. But the author, Denworth, said these restrictions may also provide an opportunity, or even a perfect excuse, to clear troublesome relationships before all this begins.
Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a neuroscientist at Brigham Young University, said that good health depends not only on the closeness of our relationships, but also on their nature. The latest research by Holt-Lunstad shows that “contradictory” relationships that combine emotion and hostility (Arras, like many family relationships) produce chronic stress that can ultimately damage health .
Holt-Lunstad said: “When we talk about social isolation, this is sometimes lost.” “It’s not that we just need to make people more interactive with others. We must also pay more attention to the negative emotions in certain relationships.”
The loss of friendship caused by this pandemic is not limited to political polarization. It also confuses masks with support for “big government.” This is more to discover the personality differences between you and your relatives and friends, including varying degrees of risk tolerance, as well as seemingly irrational optimism on the one hand and hysterical vigilance on the other. These differences are very important when many of us lose sleep and give ourselves or a loved one gas in a crowded emergency room.
But what makes the necessary dialogue so difficult is the lack of scientific information. This makes risk assessment a moving target. When even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention does not provide a clear answer on how long (hours? days?) the virus stays on the surface, opinions may replace facts, making you more likely to argue with a friend you just told you can’t use her Bathroom.
Danworth said: “I heard the news somewhere and hope I can think of this: We are facing a moment with our friends, we have to ask for consent like people treat sexual relations.”
However, in this case, the dispute also involves other main motives, including fear of being excluded because of the possible spread of the disease, and a desire to gain more control.
“People have stopped inviting me to school because they worry that I won’t come. This is true.” said Jennifer Renner, an office worker in Berkeley, California, who has a 1-year-old. “Or I get these condescending comments, for example,’We will all do this, but we can bring our own cups at any time.’ The treatment I get is like I have to deal with this strange anxiety disorder.”
Having not left home for several weeks, Renner recently accepted an invitation from a friend to meet in the park. “It’s absolutely safe,” her friend told her. Renner tied her child to the car and drove for half an hour, but when she arrived at the destination, she was shocked to see crowds of people walking, running, biking and roller skating. Together, there is almost no mask.
She never gets out of the car. Instead, she texted her friends, and to her surprise, she insisted on coming. “She said,’It’s safe, you can trust me’ because I have to leave my comfort zone.”
Renner refused. She didn’t believe her friend had any special knowledge about safety.
Later, she said: “I feel uneasy. It’s not like fear of elevators, it’s like something I must conquer.”
The two have not spoken for nearly two weeks, and although they reconciled, Renner is still troubled by her friend’s inability to understand her fear.
Of course, these conflicts are not a one-way street. Protests against the so-called control freaks broke out on dining tables, Zoom phones and social media.
When an elderly woman in Marin County, California expresses her concerns about covid-19 on Facebook, she usually receives many “likes”. However, when she recently suggested that the police should control teenagers to gather near her favorite coffee shop, do not wear masks. Freelance writer Jen Shulman accused her of wanting to “get young people arrested during the summer so that she can safely enjoy the damn macchiato”.
Shulman said in a later interview: “It made my inner cyberbullying feeling flooded.”
Shulman has some elderly parents and she is trying to protect herself, but she is also the mother of three pandemic teenagers whose lives have stalled during the pandemic. Her views made her impatient with both sides of the mask’s argument. She said the mask had degenerated into “both groups of people conveying frustration and fear to others who might do their best.”
If friends and family eventually learn to talk more directly about important things and strengthen relationships with a new level of understanding, then this conflict may be beneficial. But this evolution will require a lot of work.
“The fight against good warfare is exhausting,” Sioux Falls, South Dakota artist Hannah Smith (Hannah Smith) concluded after a fight with her sister in Bunker Hill, Illinois.
She described the break-in on a five-week Facebook page:. . Are we still doing it in secret? “In the end, 3,000 members shared news, suggestions and complaints about others’ behavior.
Smith said on the pages of the book and in subsequent interviews that she tried to persuade her sister to let her three children drop out of school, or even go to school by herself, but to no avail.
She quoted her sister: “Children can’t do it.” He led Smith to write a profanity plot, accompanied by the actor’s GIF head against the wall. “I live in stupid land,” she was angrily. Her sister declined to comment.
Studies have shown that fewer children are positive for covid-19 than adults, and deaths among children are extremely rare. However, research also shows that children can still spread the disease to others.
University of Rochester psychologist Harry Reis (Harry Reis) said that as the weather gets colder later this year, the power of social networks will be more rigorously tested.
Reis said: “Now, gathering outdoors is easy and enjoyable.” “But what happens when the weather is unpleasant? Will people cut off most of their contact with others?”
It is not too early for some people to judge from “Are we still keeping secret?”
“Is anyone willing to join me to find an island where we can live with like-minded people who wear masks in any indoor space, keep their distance, and don’t comment on’this is like the flu’ or laugh at you for taking prevention Measures?” Read the latest post by a high school teacher in Ohio. “I have to live with people who don’t seem to have paid. It’s really exhausting…”
Her complaint provoked emojis and supportive comments, some of which simply said: “I participated!”