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“California Sober” is not wrong-Demi Lovato’s hatred is timid

Demi Lovato no longer hides her truth. Last month, the singer and actress, who has struggled with addiction for many years, revealed that she considers herself “California sober”, which means she is not completely quitting drugs. This is contrary to decades of traditional wisdom in the world of addiction rehabilitation, which believes that rehabilitation means complete and permanent abstinence from alcohol. How often do you see headlines about this celebrity celebrating a sober anniversary? While celebrating them, we should also be celebrating Ms. Lovato’s recovery, even if it sounds unusual.

Regrettably, nothing is known about the criticism of Lovato’s recovery plan, which just shows how far we need to go to recover from addiction.

The fierce quarrel began with her new documentary “Dancing with the Devil,”

; in which the pop star publicly talked about a variety of personal struggles, from surviving an almost overdose of drugs to struggling with dietary problems and the trauma of sexual assault. But the headlines focused on her choice to implement the so-called “moderate management”, that is, when people choose to indulge in certain substances, as the name suggests, it is moderation.

In a recent interview with CBS on Sunday morning, Lovato said: “Yes. I think the term I can most agree with is’California Sober.'” Then, the interviewer asked her if it meant She still drinks and smokes a little weed. Lovato replied: “I really don’t want to explain the parameters of my rehabilitation to people because I don’t want anyone to look at my safety parameters and think it will be useful to them because it may not work.”

Lovato was cautious in his words, and clearly considered the meaning of becoming a pop star and role model, and at the same time treated his recovery faithfully and honestly.

But her cautious words did not stop the haters. A blogger described her recovery path as “delusion” and “dangerous.” Professional interventionist Ken Seeley told Entertainment Today: “I think the term’California Sober’ is very disrespectful to sober communities. “I know that many people work very hard to maintain abstinence and fight to restore life. And it is so inappropriate to come up with this new term “Sober California”. “

same, people The story about Lovato’s documentary in the magazine symbolizes this common misunderstanding. “Demi Lovato revealed that she smoked marijuana and drank alcohol “moderately”, but said, “It’s not for everyone.” In the story, people Writing Demi Lovato (Demi Lovato) is not sober. The article continues:

The singer then said that she “has killed something that would kill me,” but admitted that she still smokes marijuana and drinks occasionally. Traditionally, in rehabilitation and 12-step procedures, recovery is based on total abstinence from drugs and alcohol rather than abstinence.

However, “tradition” is not necessarily suitable for everyone. There is no shame in having a heterogeneous recovery.

The fact is that there are as many paths to recovery as there are people. As a national champion and self-healing person, I have personally learned and witnessed the diversity, innovation and innovation of our community. Recovery is defined as “a process of change through which people can improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to achieve their full potential”. This means that everyone who seeks relief from substance abuse disorders deserves the basic respect and dignity that we will provide to anyone else so that they can recover from chronic diseases. On the contrary, armchair experts describe Lovato as an “alcoholic” and an “addict”, who does not know that he is better and cannot trust himself to make healthy choices for himself.

Similarly, temperance is also a way of recovery. Quitting some substances but still using others is a kind of recovery. Just as a complete abstinence can be restored, or the use of drugs such as methadone can also be restored. The introduction of health tools such as yoga or relying on spiritual exercises can also be restored. Why is it difficult for some people to understand?

Lovato’s rehabilitation is as effective as mine: with the support of the 12-step plan, zero use moderation. I think her path will not threaten me, nor will she “set a bad example.” If anything, I think her courage shows that recovery is indeed suitable for anyone who wants it. The question here is not what Lovato chooses to do with his body. She is a 28-year-old adult woman.

As one of the biggest pop singers in the world, Lovato is used to being watched by strangers. In her documentary, she described how she could not control her life for many years. Her schedule, wardrobe, financial situation, and even what she eats are all under command and control. Frankly watching women like Lovato regain control and realize their truth. But it seems to severely criticize women, especially celebrities. They are too thin or fat, wrongly shaped, too trendy or desperately outdated. They are terrible mothers, or they spend too much time with their families. It is not surprising that the same judgment extends to recovery. If a woman uses substances, it means she is lush. If she abstained, she would remain nervous. There is no middle ground, do you know? I am very happy that Lovato will not please anyone except her because of her recovery options. Everyone must decide for themselves what “recovery” means and how to live.

However, therapists, therapists and other so-called experts are working hard to make a decision that suits Demi. But these people are the ones who should know that what she is doing is exactly how recovery support should work. It is not the job of a therapist (or anyone else) to prescribe how other people must live or what guidelines should be followed. Instead, they should provide tools, resources, and support that can help that person live their best life.

In my experience, shaking, humiliating or criticizing does not make anyone sober. No one humiliated me for receiving treatment; I chose to seek help because I finally accepted that my life was worthwhile, and I met other people who bravely showed me what was possible for me. One of them is Demi herself: when I first met her in 2013 when I was living in Los Angeles, I was still in an active heroin addiction state and lied to everyone. Soon after meeting Demi and listening to her story, I completely changed my life. I found a way that worked for me. Like Demi, I also appeared publicly as a member of the LGBTQ community after I was sober. There is a big connection between my identity and drug use. Shame kept me in the closet for a long time. If I want to please everyone, I will still get sick and self-hatred. I might even be dead. but I am not. I am alive today, I am very happy. I am healthier than ever, socializing with people I love, and sharing the inspiration I got from Demi and many other friends.

The sooner we give up zero tolerance, and the restoration of abstinence alone is the only effective way, the sooner we start to save lives. Hundreds of people die every day from material-related causes. If you tell them there is another way, how many people are still alive today? I am grateful for the incredible variety of recovery pathways in the community. Our diversity is our strength. Instead of taking on the pathology and punishing people’s “one-size-fits-all” recovery, we need to focus on the individual and ask how we can support them in their unique journey.

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